I get by with a little help from my friends

This is a call out post. 

This one is for the friends that have been there for me. Always. No matter the time or the day or the insignificance of my “dire” situation. The ones who allow me to coat their shirts with tears and hug me until I feel better. The friends who understand that sometimes I just need someone to listen and they do….for an obscene amount of time. My friends….some of the best people on earth.

From a young age I was annoyingly friendly.

If you would listen to me talk, you were automatically my friend. No one was safe from this game, as I ran around the playground looking for my next victim to play tag with me and push me on the swing.

I blame my mother for this quality, she could talk to a rock and the object would magically become so impressed by her way with small talk, it would spring alive and tell her its deepest secrets in twenty minutes. We’d always spend way too long in public because my mother had lived in our town her whole life and knew EVERYONE. Someone she went to college with, someone from our church and someone she worked with twenty odd years ago for three weeks would make their way toward us by the end of a 30 minute shopping trip.

My mother always encouraged me to ask kids to play and make new friends constantly, as if for the fear that one child may go friendless. I obliged quite easily, due to the fact that I had a short attention span and the t.v. could only keep me entertained for so long. Having someone to make up new games with, ride bikes with (only down my block and back so that my mom was in ear-shot) or someone who enjoyed singing horribly to spice girls with me won my heart.

This characteristic went with me throughout school. I had many friends from different friend groups around the school. This meant that when all my friends came together, hell broke loose because not everyone meshed quite well. I didn’t mind, I watched and wondered why it seemed so easy for me to care about all of these abstract, different people who couldn’t even stand each other.Because of this, many people have told me not to have so many close friends because you can’t possibly have lasting friendships with all of them and/or you can’t give everyone your undivided attention.

I agree, it is hard to give everyone the same amount of attention but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be friends with them. Not everyone needs to be your best friend, but someone who can occasionally go out for coffee or catch up about life with isn’t too shabby either.

I feel like keeping connections with so many different people has made me more well rounded. I’ve been exposed to many different nationalities, cultures, sexualities,  traditions and mental/physical illnesses. From all of my friends, I’ve learned different things about the world around me. Honestly it’s made me adapt to the world around me so much easier.

I’ve become almost without judgement when it comes to differences because in each difference, lies a human being. This soul is more than its shell. This person is more than gay, more than catholic, more than black or white or indian or hispanic. This person is a beautiful, living, friend.

Friends that have helped me through the worst and best times in my life. Whether it is my best friend since kindergarten or the girl in my lecture that became a close friend for a semester….they have all impacted my life and who I am. I like the idea that we are a combination of everyone we have met because that means that I am this amazingly developed, socially aware and diverse human being. I’ve met amazing people and learned so much from them by just bulking up the courage to say hi.

So to my friends, I love you and never change. For the way that we are different brings us together and makes us whole. We grow and learn from one another….so thank you so much for letting me learn who you are, I hope from me….you may have learned something too.

— Missy ♥

 

 

Advertisements

Exploring my faith while living on a Lutheran campus

I grew up in a catholic household.

Though this fact didn’t mean that my parents were strict by any means. What my faith meant to me was that my family prayed before meals and that I knew that Sundays I would spend the majority of my time at the church.

This was until a sudden collapse in my family, we were unable to make masses and we rarely talked about faith in the house. My mom only spoke about God during harder times as a way to see the light in the darkness.

I lost my connection to God.

Going to public school, many of my friends were not religious, we never spoke on the topic because it was deemed inappropriate and I always felt like my views would hurt others’ feelings. I felt my heart play tug of war for what I was raised on and my current conflicting thoughts. All of this thinking and nervousness made me want to take my faith and ball it up in a corner and forget about it.

Then I came to Grand View.

Suddenly everyone laid their views out in the open and God was a topic of everyday conversation. They had this special connection with God, they almost spoke of him as a friend or family member….it was natural for them. This transition confused me, I’ve never been in an environment outside of my church where people talked so openly about faith…..and felt a familiar feeling of nervousness.

I became friends with many people of faith and I felt constantly on edge.

If they ask me about my views…..what do I say?

Will they judge me if I have no clue what they are talking about?

Can we still be friends if my faith isn’t the same as theirs?

All of these thoughts were buzzing through my head with every interaction I had. But I wanted to learn more, I wanted to understand where they were coming from….but I was scared. I continued shadowing my friends at their get togethers or contemporary worship services to get some sort of understanding about their views as I tried to figure out my own.

I found out that people…..are so very understanding.

Our campus has an amazing campus pastor and he has lead many different sessions on campus directed to people like me…people who aren’t quite sure of their faith. My anxious thoughts figuring out my relationship with God right away were slowly fading away. He would constantly urge people to ask him questions and talk to him when necessary. Though I haven’t talked to him, just the idea that he was there and open to everyone’s thoughts brought a sense of comfort.

I may not understand my true relationship with God quite yet but my heart has settled immensely. When people find out that I go to a Lutheran school, they often ask if I run into “crazy religious people” or if I feel out of place on campus. The truth is, they couldn’t be more wrong. Just because some of my friends are Christians and some of my friends aren’t and I have no idea where I stand on the spectrum does not mean that anyone tries to define my feelings.

Christians are regular people.

My friends treat me with the utmost respect and if they do ask me questions about my faith and I tell them that i’m still figuring that out…they understand my situation. Not once have I had a friend who pushed their views upon me, made me do anything that I didn’t want to religiously or judged me on my lack of faith knowledge.

For all of this, I am forever grateful. As I travel through this journey I couldn’t be happier with the people that stay with me. Religious, non-religious and everything in between.

How to wait for the Disney College Program

As I have begun the waiting period for my Summer Disney college program, the struggle bus has started. The fact that anyone could possibly only focus on school for two more months when they know they’ll be working in the happiest place on earth for the summer is the cruelest form of torture. In the midst of my less than patient waiting period, I have developed a list of ideas that my fellow future DCP friends can use to pass the time and more importantly, annoy everyone who follows you on the internet.

  1. Start a countdown

We all know that counting down makes anything seem unbelievably closer to happening…or at least if you’re me it helps. Start a countdown on your phone, your wall or your social media to help you become a little more excited each day as that number goes down. Fair warning, everyone will go from “aw that’s so cute she’s so excited” to “omg just let her go already” in like 5 days but reminder, this is for you and not for them so don’t worry about annoying anyone.

Tangled

2. Join all of the DCP groups on Facebook/follow blogs that are already on their DCP

Who is going to understand your excitement more than other Disney people? The answer is no one and even though there may only be a slight possibility for you and the people you met online to hang out…there will always be the most random times where you see a suddenly see a familiar face and reconnect. In the meantime, the posts on these groups are quite frequent so if you ever need a Disney pick-me-up to re-energize your excitement, there is always something there for you. Also, adding blogs that are already in Disney could help answer future questions as well as allow you to find more ideas about what you want to accomplish on your program.

tumblr_mbycucs5Ek1qe8di7o1_500.gif

3. Watch your favorite Disney movies or television shows in preparation

Your friends may hate you for playing the Tangled soundtrack while spinning around your apartment but filling your head with the sounds and love of Disney can continue to warm your heart until you leave. Whether it is the classics like Oliver and Company or 101 Dalmatians or newer additions like Big Hero 6 or The Force Awakens, you’ve already committed to the Disney lifestyles, so why don’t you solidify it with mini marathons of your faves?

giphy

4. Start a “DCP checklist” and learn more about lesser known Disney facts

I’ve seen so many people post their checklists on Tumblr on Facebook and i’m planning on starting one as well. Compile a list of things that you know you must accomplish while you’re in the parks, resorts or Orlando in general. Do some research and figure out plans that you didn’t know existed or that you weren’t able to complete on your last program/visit. It’s hard to do everything in Disney of course, but a game plan is never a bad thing and it will only make you more excited to complete the list in a few short months.

112011-Kuzco-Im-so-happy-gif-Imgur-em-gEiI

5. Most importantly…..don’t slack off, live life…Disney will come soon

I know you’re excited to come home but you can’t let your excitement weigh you down. You have papers, exams and events to devote your time to while you wait. Disney is way closer than you think and it will be magical when it rolls around. While you wait, don’t forget to spend as much time as you can with your loved ones because you won’t see them for awhile and as exciting as working for Disney is, you will miss them so cherish the little things for a little while longer, trust me.

Best-Hugs-05-Aladdin-1

Have a magical wait,

Missy

Dear middle school me;

I realized when I truly think about my past and who I’ve become….I’ve changed a lot, so I decided to give some advice to my younger self. Here ya go ya emotional, pop punk, piece of work, I love you but oh did you stress me out.

Lower liner is not for you.

I know, all your friends have recently convinced you that makeup is necessary and the lower liner is all the rage but lets be real here, you don’t know how to apply it. by the end of the day, almost stabbing yourself in the eye isn’t worth having your 2 dollar generic brand eyeliner down to your cheekbones. I promise you, use liquid liner and only line your top lid, it works wonders on your wide eyes.

Let mom in. She cares about you.

I know, you’re going through a lot. You aren’t thin, you aren’t outgoing and you aren’t funny…..as hard as you try…I promise you aren’t but listen here, just because you are dragging around all that emotional baggage, doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. You may not want to hear her advice, mostly because she is right. But hey, try it once, really listen to her. Care about what she has to say, because she cares about you….a lot. She puts up with your P!ATD scream sessions, oh i’m sorry…your singing and she deals with you hogging the computer at all hours of the night to reblog Alex Gaskarth, give her a few seconds of your time and just let her know.

Music is going to save you from yourself

Right now, you’re just getting into listening to Allstar Weekend, let me tell you that this dumb band is going to lead you straight to new genres of music and hundreds of your new favorite artists. Cherish the moments you spend in concert venues, meeting artists and screaming on the top of your lungs. These moments will help you in the future when you’re at your lowest. This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, between you and music and it’s far from over.

Finally…..love yourself

I know you are constantly judging yourself and comparing yourself to your thinner and smarter and confident friends….knock it off. Middle school boys, especially the boy on your mind, is not worth a millisecond of your time. You have a beautiful heart, you have several amazing friends and you have a family that will care about you no matter how many Allstar Weekend quotes you state or how many concerts you beg your mom to drive you to. Embrace your weird, others already have.

Stay true to yourself, don’t try to be who everyone else is. You are sensitive but you are so caring and loving. Trust yourself, don’t sweat the small stuff, that test, that boy and that school will be gone before you know it. High school….that’s even a bigger mess but trust me, it’s no monster that you can’t beat.

I believe in you.

Stay strong.

Missy ♥

 

Why i’m so comfortable with crying

We all cry. 

Face it. 

You’ve cried.

Don’t let this be a downfall or a weakness, sometimes you just need to cry. I cry often may that be from happiness, exhaustion, frustration or sadness….the tears fall down my face. I’ve become okay with the fact that I am an emotional person, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I seek to see the goodness and acceptation of everyone.

I used to make fun of my mom when she’d cry in a movie, the characters were fictional, why was she so upset? As I have gotten older, I have become the same way. You bet there wasn’t anything less than a hurricane that shot out of my eyes during the last Harry Potter movie.

To cry, to me, means to have immense strength.

Think about it this way, you are feeling such powerful emotions that these emotions literally leak out of your face. ….okay that sounded way more poetic in my head but you get what I mean. You are are feeling so strongly that your body can’t take it, it has to express that feeling outwardly. Wearing your feelings on your face is the scariest thing you’ll ever do but it is also one of the best ways to let yourself heal.

When I cry, all the pain and all the hurt comes rushing out. Like the tears falling down my face are cleaning my emotions, telling me that those feelings….they are being washed away. After crying, I feel tired but I have also never felt better in my life. What hurts more that bottling up your emotions?

If you let those feelings pull apart your insides, I promise you that feels way worse than the “embarrassment” that comes with someone seeing you cry. When someone sees me cry, I feel like I have emotionally let them in. I trust them with my emotions and I allow them to take me as I am because I know they care for me.

Don’t wipe those tears off your face and never apologize for bursting into tears. If anyone doesn’t understand that you are human, you have emotions and you obviously trust them with those emotions….they don’t deserve you.

I think that crying makes you an emotion warrior.

You are stronger than you know by letting your emotions flow. Never surrender to holding them in, let the out and allow yourself to flourish and grow.

Much love,

Missy ♥

 

Crying-Isnt-weak

 

Do you ever feel “undateable”

Sometimes when you are alone in your room you have a horrifying realization that you are in fact, 20 years old and you would rather spend the day in your room taking “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” buzzfeed quizzes and watch “New Girl” instead of trying to get yourself out there and meet people.

You find yourself rejecting invitations from friends and turning off the light in your room so that not even your inanimate objects can look at you. It’s about the third episode in, your candle is flickering and you are giggling to yourself so loudly you start to even hate yourself when you begin to wonder….should I want anyone else here?

You begin to fret because you haven’t really cared up to this moment, you’ve been content by yourself, lounging after a day of studying and working. Are you supposed to want to socialize? Are you supposed to feel this at ease alone in your room? Is the fact that you cringe every time complains about having no one to cuddle mean that you are completely soulless?

Chill love. You don’t need to feel anything that is unnatural to you. You could be working all the time and these lonely hours are treasured wonders that only happen so often. You could still be recovering from a break-up and the idea of having human contact could be the last thing you want to even think about.

Being alone, doesn’t mean that you are lonely. 

This applies to people in relationships too….now now don’t go running to your significant other and say “this irrelevant twenty-something blogger said I should ignore you lol bye.” No, i’m not saying that you can’t be with your significant other every free second of your day because some people love that! What i’m saying is, if you are introverted like myself, sometimes even when you have someone special in your life…you need “me time.”

Watching your favorite show or movie, making your favorite food for a party of one and enjoy the peace of your own existence doesn’t mean that you are disrespecting your relationship, some people need that time to re energize, reevaluate or relax. Don’t panic, this is NORMAL.

Even if you love them so so very much, sometimes you’d like to watch Scott Pilgrim V.S. The World without having to describe the history of the comic books, introduce characters and plot lines and try to explain to another human why this movie is necessary to life. Sometimes you just need yourself and your bed, your laptop and a cup of tea to enjoy little things in life.

What i’m saying is….do your thing. Live your life. Take that “me time” and cherish it, don’t regret it.

As a wise old Tom Haverford once said…

TREAT YO’SELF

– Missy

Rent-A-Swag-tom-haverford

How being observant isn’t a two way street.

I see you over there, you think the pretty girl in the yellow dress doesn’t see you staring at her as if the “heart eye” emoji wasn’t bulging out of your face. You’re right, she doesn’t probably see you, but I do.

Wow Missy, that’s a creepy way to start a blog post.

I know, I know but honestly can I let you all in on a secret? I know way too much, I shouldn’t probably be able to read body language and tone of voice as quickly as I can but I do. I’ve been able to pinpoint so many crushes, so many feelings of dislike and so many uncomfortable people.

I’m uniquely observant.

I love to people watch. Yes, I am a certified stalker.

I can’t help it, people are so fascinating, I love trying to figure them out. I love watching love unfold, friendships bloom and fights explode. Everyone is so individual but yet there are so many qualities that become uniform. Though I can see right through everyone’s facade when i’m outside of the box….this observant attitude almost never includes myself.

I become almost numb to my tendencies because I don’t classify myself in the same arena in the competition of life. I don’t like to get my own hopes up and I find it way easier to see the best in others. So I began to think of why I see myself on this completely other level.

Besides the history of self consciousness and lack of motivation, I physically can’t see when anything good is coming my way. That sounds horrible but it’s like I have built a brick wall between me and good things and though sometimes I creep along the edges and peek over to the other side, I don’t dare cross it before I am completely certain.

My friends try to convince me of things all the time that are happening in front of me that i’ll never personally claim.

“You have so many friends” “he’s totally into you” “you are so smart”

I’m not trying to form this idea of “oh i’m so humble” it’s more of the idea that “i’m so dumbfounded by good things.” Which seems the opposite of what an observant person should feel. Because I am so in tune with emotions, I should be able to see all of the same things where they happen to me right?

Wrong.

Being self-conscious and observant means that though I read into things fairly accurately, I also see all of the outcomes that could come of what lies ahead of me. Therefore because my heart, my friendship, my career is on the line, there is always a flip side. It is easy to tell your friends that only good things will happen AND believe it…because you believe in them.

When the tables turn and you’re being interrogated…it’s not so easy.

– Missy

download