Wait, I am 20….i’m allowed to be young and dumb

“In a world, where college students think they need to plan their entire life within four years…there are many mental breakdowns.” – Me

as I was contemplating my after graduation plans the other night, I began to think….why am I in such a rush to find everything I “need” right here, right now?

The question was deep from the beginning and of course i’m staring at my pitch dark ceiling at 1 a.m. so it took awhile to even start answering this question. That’s when reality struck, why do we find it unrealistic to go into life without a concrete plan?

We believe in fate when it comes to luck and lust but when it comes to our goals, fate isn’t in the equation. We are told by ourselves more than anyone else, this higher education is set up to control the rest of our natural born lives. Get a job, a family and a financial situation.

I often do think of true love in part with “the future.” Our university president even stating to us during our first week on campus “turn to your left and right, you might have just met the love of your life.” Though I know it’s part of a spiel to get you excited for your college experience, it also sets up unrealistic expectations for a young adult life.

I, like many others found that coming to college meant finally finding someone and settling down after graduation. With that goal in mind, my mind was set on falling in love. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes open and my heart was clutching to my sleeve.

What I didn’t realize was that….i’m in my twenties. I’m almost pushed into making mistakes that i’ll laugh about later in life. I’m in my twenties and I need to spend them making connections and learning and growing.

All of this didn’t mean finding my happily ever after right this very second. Many people have told me that becoming obsessed with the idea of finding love will lead to you finding nothing but bitter loneliness and let me tell you, they’re right.

What I needed to understand is that right now, in this moment, i’m thriving. I’m in the time of my life when i’m understanding what i’m passionate about and why. I’m meeting new people who will introduce me to the world around me in different perspectives. I’m learning from professors that can enrich me with knowledge that will better my life when i’m pushed out head-first on the concrete with adult life.

These things are what the college experience should be about. If you find someone through this time, strike up chemistry and fall in love, it’s just the powdered sugar on the chocolate chip pancakes already set in front of you.

So hey there, you, person who thinks your life will be meaningless when you go home and your family asks you “got a boyfriend/girlfriend yet” I’ve got a challenge for you. When this question arises, greet it with a smile and answer accordingly “no, but you have to hear about what my final project is about” or “I have not, but you will not believe what my professor spoke about today” or even “Nope, by my friends and I are planning on going ice skating this weekend, it should be fun.” Change the subject on them, take them by surprise.

Fall in love with yourself and your life so that when someone does come along, they see your eyes as clearly as they see your passion. They hold tightly not only to your waist but the words you say. Love you life and inspire only to better it every day.

Let yourself float through life and take bad experiences with a grain of salt, you’re in your twenties and you must embrace it before it’s over. Never feel like you have to grow up so fast that your twenties seemed like they would never end. Push for that idea of going to catch up with a friend over coffee in twenty years to gush over the stupid and hilarious things that happened when you were young and dumb…because you allowed yourself that freedom.

Missy ♥


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